So my question is, why do things always have to appear to be sunshine and kittens? Life is not always good. Life is not always bad. Life is just that...Life. Everything happens. Happiness happens. Sadness happens. Shit happens. Bad things happen to good people. Good things happen to bad people... So why when someone expresses how they feel is it considered negativity? I don't understand. If Im having a shit day and I feel like going online and letting everyone know Im having a shit day...I should be able to do that without others saying oh 'vague booking' or someone is looking for sympathy. No No No. Just no. The person is having shitty day!! Maybe they have nobody to talk to? Maybe they just fucking feel like bitching? Why not? What's so wrong with showing emotion? Any and every emotion? And then when someone is honest about something it can be perceived as so many different things. It can be taken as trying to push someone in a corner to make them feel bad or being brutally honest to be malicious but the one thing nobody EVER says about being truthful is just that...ITS THE DAMN TRUTH, that's why its being said. Not for attention, not to make someone feel bad, not to degrade someone or something. Sure the truth hurts...that's life. shit happens, bad shit happens. Since when did telling the truth make someone a trouble maker? When did it make them a bad person? A malicious person? Is honesty THAT overrated today? I just don't understand. It seems more and more apparent the less truthful you are...the more distance you'll travel. So do I compromise my integrity and my values of being honest and forthcoming to get myself ahead in the game? Let me explain...
Today someone asked me why my books didn't sell as well as "so and so's" books. They enjoyed my books far more than the S&S's books so she didn't understand. I simply shrugged and said "I can't answer that question because if I knew...I'd change what I was doing wrong."
Then the dreaded question followed... "Are you jealous? Not just of that author, are you jealous in general that you aren't succeeding like so many others are?"
Now, I'll make this clear upfront. I will never begrudge anyone's success. EVER. I think there is plenty of room out there for everyone's success. Not to mention that my definition of success probably varies from others. So the clear answer should have been "No, I'm not jealous."
But it wasn't. Because I'm honest. Of course I'm jealous. Not green with envy, breathing fire I want to sabotage your life jealous but that sad little corner of your heart that so wishes you could have just a sliver of that too. Not in place of, not wishing you were someone else...just wanting it too. That's human nature. Anyone who says they aren't...refer back to the beginning and reread it. Honesty. Its a rare commodity these days and success in the author world is pretty much about who you know...NOW. Not two years ago...Im talking now. The market is so oversaturated with books that its impossible for a reader to find a new to them author with out a recommendation. .
I'm telling the truth here so please I honestly don't want any response to this, I simply just want to say it. No matter how many times someone tells me they love my work...I doubt myself. I'm convinced I could have done better, reworded something, took something out. ANYTHING.
So, Ill wrap this up with my final thought of the evening.
Be honest...and if people don't like it maybe you don't need THAT sort of negativity in your life. Because if they don't like hearing the truth imagine how hard it must be for them to tell the truth....